Fear, what is this word? who created it and where did
it come from, what were they thinking when they came up with it to represent
one of humans most cowardly emotions and have you ever given a thought to how
negatively this emotion could affect us.
I had gone to bed on the stroke of midnight on this
particular morning and was only able to sleep for about three hours before the
so-called sleep ran away leaving me seated on the edge of my bed, looking
emptily at a blank wall that had turned shadowy. Lack of sleep has become part
of my new realities since the advent of CORONA VIRUS carrying COVID-19 and
information(s) that followed it, part of which stated that a person or persons
with "underlining medical condition" has an almost zero percent chances
of survival and being a cancer patient, the depth of the reality that I am now
confronted by yet another deadlier enemy than the prostate cancer I am
struggling with, got stuck in my head subconsciously, enforced by the
"Lockdown" that has locked the whole world out and away from my grasp
and left me marooned at home with nothing but hope, the fear that came with
realities of dying from cancer, was enamoured enormously and has completely
taken over my life, be it subconsciously.
My life now revolved around the shadows of death and
dying and fear of leaving my children behind to face the ever bludgeoning
wicked world on their own, as young as they are - FEAR. I was so afraid of this "looming
encounter" with COVID that nothing else mattered, not even the fact that
the deadly prostate cancer that is still there, slowly chipping away at me as
well; "Underlining medical conditions" my mind was filled with
imageries of death and dying as if I had experienced it before – FEAR,
unbridled fear, it took away my sleep and has become part of my new realities,
just like millions of people around the world who woke up one glad morning in
December of 2019 to hear of the arrival of the brand new death merchant which
came from nowhere; they said it started in Wuhan, somewhere in remote China, a
place many of us have never heard of before; before we could grasp what was
going on, many got caught and began to die, thousands are still dying and the
world is at a standstill with everything completely out of order, things are
out of kilter, life as we know it is spinning madly, turning crazily; the world
is locked in a closet shelf, bleeding and confused.
Here we are today, here I am, at this time, in the
very early hours of the morning of yet another tearful day, alone and very fearful,
writing about it in the wee hours of the morning, middle of over two months of
staying at home, not stepping out, going nowhere and doing nothing but fear and
keep praying; that has been my state of mind, we have been told to stay home in
other to stay away from the marauding pandemic that has now struck millions of
the world's people and taken a population that is more than that of a country.
Ironically, COVID-19 sounds like a noble term, a name
that could be given to a genuine scientific breakthrough instead of a deadly
spine chilling pandemic; then CORONA VIRUS, something we expect to find or hear
of in a sci-fi movie, an inhabitant of a newly discovered planet, somewhere in
"the milky way" but painfully, these are names associated with something
or system that came from nowhere, we were told it "came in from the
cold" and changed the face of the earth and course of the world we used to
know; it has now given us a brand new world, with lots of terms and conditions
breeding fear and pandemonium, a world we do not want, a system we abhor, a
bewitching situation that has left us in dreaded fear. Among the new realities
are new words like social distancing wherein we are not to embrace nor shake
each other's hands let alone hug and kiss for fear of contamination because
every one of us is a potential career; from Presidents to street urchins, no
one is spared.
This damn thing is so audacious that it has no respect
for power or authority, it even defied a President that said it will disappear
as quickly as it came, instead of disappearing, it has ravaged his country more
than any other and has continued to do so; damaging lives daily.
Many other words were made significant because of it;
like "The New Normal" a term used to define the new world we are stepping
into, a world where the basics are all but gone, love and relationships are
replaced with machines and technology, sports and recreation are reduced to a
spectre of its former glory, a world where my brother, my sister, families are
suspects at any time, after all, coronavirus may strike at any time; lovemaking
has become a dreaded enterprise, sex, a risky sport unless you are ready to
stake your life on it, travel and tourism are all but near dead – FEAR.
We are weakened immensely as the world struggles to
deal with it effectively, forcing us to ask these questions, what kind of a
world is this and how did we get here, to this point? Is this the world we have
decided for ourselves? the way we want to live our lives going forward? a life
we want to bequeath posterity? surely, we can do better than this, unless I am
being told that this is the price we have to pay for the intrigues of
fast-paced developments that brought the fourth industrial revolution, ever
changeling face of the new world that came with the new millennium where the
major focus has been on monitoring, control and dictation of how to live our
lives instead of making the world a much better place for everyone. Our people are now dying in droves; sacrificial
lambs laid at the altar of the unseen. – Things that were foretold? To make
things worse, words used by those in charge have left us with nothing but
hopelessness and pandemonium – The psychology of Fear.
In continuing with finding an answer to my questions
about fear, I dare to write that it has many faces, depending on how you have
allowed it to affect you, many schools of thought described it in their way and
here are some of them – Wikipedia says "it is an emotion induced by
perceived danger or threat which causes physiological and ultimately,
behavioural changes such as fleeing, hiding or freezing from perceived
traumatic events" in this case,
nothing can be more traumatic than the situation we have been in – this is one
of the reasons why sleep has run away from me.
Further, the Online Etymology dictionary in describing
the origin and meaning of fear says that it is a sense of; "state of being
afraid" uneasiness caused by possible danger".
Some old English words, developed in the late twelfth
century, gave us the word, "fear" as fyrhto, and ondraedan, meaning
"Feeling of dread" as well as "Reverence for God" which is
a different kind of fear to the one we are witnessing momentarily, while we
revere God with fear and deep respect born out of love and sense of belonging,
we fear our new situation out of hate and abhorrence because of what it has so
far done to our lives and may continue doing unless we find a way to stop it,
remove it completely, therefore these are two completely different kinds of
fear.
Continuing… we have lived with fear and in fear in
many areas of our lives before coronavirus and many of us have allowed and
continued to allow it to define who we are, we have allowed it to short-change
what would have been our spectacular achievements, accolades that would have
reached us had we found enough courage to destroy fear and live our lives like
it is golden – Fear.
There are yet
many other definitions, such as the feeling of distress, apprehension or alarm
caused by impending danger, awe, anxiety, and others, in all, it is an
unpleasant emotion or thought we have when we are frightened, worried or
confronted by something or situation that we perceive as unpleasant and
possibly, a threat.
Elements and components of fear include anxiety,
dread, fearfulness.
It is, therefore, time, the days are here, reasons
abound for us to stand up and confront our fears, particularly these
compromised times brought about by the emergence of COVID-19 and Coronavirus
which has now given birth to the "New Normal" a new kind of existence
we do not want. Our courage shall see us confront the situation, a system that
was imposed on us, our courage shall see us emerge with an antidote to the
pandemic, shall see us reclaim our lives by adopting a positive perspective to
the spectre of fear for it is said that "Cowards die many times before
their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once", it is also said
that "Things done well and with care, exempt themselves from fear",
continuing with William Shakespeare's words on fear, he said yet again that
when "One fears a foe, fear crushes your strength and this weakness gives
strength to your opponent", let us, therefore "Be just and fear
not" because "Our doubts are traitors and makes us lose the good we
often might win by fearing to attempt"
While we battle with these situations and its effects
on our mental and physical well-being, we must be courageous enough to stand
up, rewire our psychology, and refuse to allow this thing to destroy us more
than those it has killed already for it is better off dead than living dead…
Let us destroy the psychology of fear for it is deadlier than Coronavirus and
the times themselves.
"Fear, and be slain--so
worse can come to fight; And fight and die is death destroying death, Where
fearing dying pays death servile breath".
#hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
